Pathetic. Everything around me moving, and only i stand and doing nothing. A friend of mine, year apart from me, two days apart from me having a heck of a job.
Some secret shindic that pays heck of a money, or at least according to him. I mean, he always was smart. So i thought - okay i'm glad that he has this job.
He kept telling me about it, and i acted silly trying to understand it. And maybe even did.
He told me that he wants to buy an old car, he has license after all.
So he did. He lives in his own apratment, drive a car and works. Makes money.
Good for him.
Except now my mom goes out of her way and pushes my face in it, and rubs it in it.
So yeah.
What am i hoping for?
What am i waiting for?
I know damn well enough that even if what i wish for will come true - it won't be now.
So why am i standing here and waiting for it?
Why can't i just move already!
I made my life a piece a crap, and i'm hoping that someone will just come over- pull me out of it and clean it up, or give me something to clean it up myself.
But noone will.
I guess that normal people getting drunk by now.
I wish i could just get depressed. But i think i already established that i can't Really get depressed.
Fuck that....