I... I just want to be found. I'm tired of this existing. I want to live. Please find me, help me, guide me... Push if you have to. Don't let me standstill anymore.
As i'm laying there, in darkness, i raise my hands, faintly visible in light coming thru my window. As i look at them, feeling of unrest rise in deep within my chest once again. I hold back my tears as i realise once again, that i need "That".
Human contact. Contact with... someone...
I thought that since i never actually had any sort of relationship it would be easier for me. But i was obviously wrong.
It's hard, painful even.
Funny... She is the first person i think about. But there is significant distance between us. And not only geographicaly.
But i brush these thoughts away. I'm forcing myself to ignore them.
I think for a second, when i log in. I put a new Greeting - in a form of a question. I think this way i will get that answer after all....
Do i?
I want to hug her, i want to smother her with kisses, to dive under her arm at night.
I want to feel her near me.
Sometimes, i do get scared of night. Because there is noone to share it with maybe?
I wonder....
I have to get better. I must. And then i will move forward. I have to.
Standstill is worst thing that i could bring upon myself. Too bad i didn't saw it before.
I want to be loved? Yes i suppose... But why?
Is it some part of our nature that we can't deny?
Then why someone is unable to understand that?
Maybe this awaken in Some of us?
Unlikely.
THen maybe it manifests differently in each one of us? If that's the case then what is it really?
I want to feel everything. Can i?
Human contact. Contact with... someone...
I thought that since i never actually had any sort of relationship it would be easier for me. But i was obviously wrong.
It's hard, painful even.
Funny... She is the first person i think about. But there is significant distance between us. And not only geographicaly.
But i brush these thoughts away. I'm forcing myself to ignore them.
I think for a second, when i log in. I put a new Greeting - in a form of a question. I think this way i will get that answer after all....
Do i?
I want to hug her, i want to smother her with kisses, to dive under her arm at night.
I want to feel her near me.
Sometimes, i do get scared of night. Because there is noone to share it with maybe?
I wonder....
I have to get better. I must. And then i will move forward. I have to.
Standstill is worst thing that i could bring upon myself. Too bad i didn't saw it before.
I want to be loved? Yes i suppose... But why?
Is it some part of our nature that we can't deny?
Then why someone is unable to understand that?
Maybe this awaken in Some of us?
Unlikely.
THen maybe it manifests differently in each one of us? If that's the case then what is it really?
I want to feel everything. Can i?
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13.03.2011 в 11:26In the line of fire someone must have known
That a human heart demands to be admired
Cause in the Center of the Universe
We are all alone